


You Are Loved

by fandom_lair



Category: The Chosen - Chaim Potok
Genre: Crying, I APOLOGIZE, M/M, Someone stop me, spoilers for the book The Promise, warnings for self harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-24
Updated: 2015-03-24
Packaged: 2018-03-19 08:26:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3603234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandom_lair/pseuds/fandom_lair
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>**Warnings for self-harm and spoilers from The Promise**</p><p>Okay I'm so sorry for this I don't know why I wrote this. I guess I just really love writing sad stories about things I've gone through (sort of). But yeah. Reuven goes to Danny's apartment and finds him in the bathroom crying with a razor by him. Oops. This is very sad and I am crying goodbye.</p><p>((Normally I would do it like a relationship, but I also enjoy their friendship a lot, so I intended for this to be seen purely as a friendship thing))</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Are Loved

       I walk into Danny's apartment and say hello. When I hear no response, I start to search for him. I move through the books strewn through the main room to the kitchen. As I'm moving down the hallway to check his room, I hear crying coming from the restroom. I knock on the door lightly and hear the crying suddenly become silent and a broken voice quietly say, "Reuven?"

       "Danny? Are you okay? I heard crying," I say.

       "I'm...I'm fine," Danny says, but I can hear the tears in his voice.

       "What happened? Can I come in?"

       Ever so quietly, I hear Danny say, "Please."

       I slowly push open the door and stop. I do not know what I was expecting, but it was definitely not this. I see Danny sitting in the corner between the bathtub and the counter with his knees pulled up to his chest, sobbing silently. As I walk closer, I see something next to him gleaming in the light. I walk even closer to him and pick up the object.

       A razor blade. With blood on it.

       I gasp and drop the blade, confused. Danny starts crying even harder, which makes me even more confused. Danny finally looks up at me. The look upon his face is one of a hurt puppy. He looks so extremely broken, and seeing him like that makes me want to curl up and cry as well.

       "I'm sorry, Reuven. I'm so sorry. I read it in a psychology book when I was seventeen and --"

       "Danny, what are you talking about?"

       "--the book said that sometimes people do it because it helps them forget things for a while, but very few people do it, and it is so obscure that I could easily hide it, and God I just wanted to forget, Reuven!"

       "Danny."

       He looks up at me again.

       "Would you care to explain what the _hell_ you are talking about?"

       Danny is quiet for a while, then he slowly pulls his arms away from around his knees. He holds out his left arm, and I look at him confused for a second before looking at his arm. I gasp. Running from just below his palm to just before his elbow, there are about twenty-five to thirty-five cuts. Some of them, mostly the ones under the palm, are barely breaking the skin. The ones closer to the elbow, though, are deeper and still bleeding. I hurry up and get a wet towel to clean them with, and as I'm cleaning them, I start crying for Danny. Who could have caused so much pain to such a loving soul?

       As I'm bandaging up the wounds, I hear Danny say, "I am really sorry, Reuven. I mean it. I did not mean to bring you pain."

       "Danny, you are the one who is bleeding. I am crying because I am worried about you."

       "Thank you, Reuven Malter."

       I nod at him and help him up, then I take the blade.

       "So, if I may ask, why did you do this to yourself," I inquire.

       "I wanted to forget," he says as his hand comes up to stroke an imaginary earlock between his thumb and forefinger.

       "Forget what?"

       "How ironic is it that I am the psychologist, yet you are currently being my therapist?"

       "Danny."

       "Okay," he sighs. "I wanted to forget all of those years of silence. I wanted to forget the fact that I am a sinner. Most of all, I wanted to forget about Michael."

       "First of all, those years of silence are over. You have me now. Second of all, Michael was not your fault. He will get better."

       "But the--"

       "No. He will get better, and you will make sure of that. Third of all, you are not a sinner. I do not know what you have done, but I know that you are not a sinner."

       "You do not know me quite as well as you would like to believe then, Reuven."

       "Why? Why are you a sinner?"

       "Because I feel for boys as one should only feel for girls."

       "You and your confusing phrases."

       "I mean that I am a homosexual. Psychologically, it is normal. Well, according to Freud it is. But according to the Talmud..."

       "Sometimes, the Talmud could be wrong, don't you agree? You, Danny Saunders, could not be a sinner no matter how hard you tried. And if you are a sinner simply because of who you are, then so am I."

       "You mean--"

       "Yes. Who you are is not something to be ashamed of."

       For the first time in several months, I saw Danny smile his old smile.

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like the characters were kind of OOC in this, so please tell me what you think of this piece. Thanks for reading!


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